I hadn’t picked up art supplies for quite some time. But I mentioned drawing tattoos for people to one of my coworkers, and she commissioned me to work on one for her. That kind of “forced” artwork is exactly what I needed.
I went from neglecting my pencils and charcoal and pastels to having to force myself to interact with them for maybe just an hour….then maybe just one more…then maybe just one more.
And bam. My creativity came back. It’s like I needed someone to give me a push, meant only to get me to start walking. And I took off running.
The next day, my other friend asked me to make him a dreamcatcher. Another little push to get my ball rolling, or rather, barreling away at high speed.
I don’t know if it’s the passion in artwork and the relaxation that it brings me that caused me to just want to make giant leaps and strides in my life, but regardless, that’s what I needed. It’s like I hit the ground, but then bounced right back up and sprinted away.
Tonight I got my ears pierced again and began gauging the first piercing in my ears. I bought jeans at Hollister. Hollister. For anyone who doesn’t know me, I’ve never set foot inside of a Hollister in my life. But now I own their jeans. I’m getting tattooed again later this week. I’m thinking about putting red highlights in my hair. I’m doing some other impulsive things to make myself happy. They're small. They're not drastic. But it's making a difference. And it’s working.
I know this post was probably just rambling, but it feels good just to write. It feels good just to let it out. It feels good to impulsively blog about impulses. What impulsive thing have you done lately? What have you done to make yourself happy lately?
One thing I've been learning as an artist (and as a teacher) is that to think and act outside of the box, you have to have a box. Sometimes structure and "rules" stimulate creativity because we are forced to push against our limitations. I feel like I am my most creative when I'm at my breaking point. I don't know if that's exactly what you're talking about here but the idea of "forced artwork" reminded me.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I learned today was to speak truth into my own life - I often get so wrapped in my own fear and anxiety and I discredit my own ability and training. Right now I'm preparing for the 4 hour history portion of my upcoming exam and this is the closest I've felt to confidence about it. I realized that I needed to act on the knowledge I already have instead of sitting and stewing about all the stuff I haven't read yet. And the second I started to type, I realized I knew way more than I knew that I knew. You know? :)
I love this post, Megan, and you, too!
That is exactly what I mean by "forced artwork." Sometimes that's just what you need. I like the way that you put it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know you've got this whole exam in the bag. You said it yourself: you know way more than you knew that you knew. And we all know you know a lot.
Lots of love coming your way too Elizabeth!! Thank you!